taking time

sometimes i long for those cold winter nights when we get away to the northwoods of wisconsin.  its those times when we have a cozy cabin tucked away in a quite corner of the forest, covered deep in snow, that i find the muse most often.

its those times that i can actually get my best creative work done.  in fact, its anytime that we get to some northern getaway that i work the best.  i so wish i had the ability more often to do that, to get away, to find that lodge, the quiet corner in the big snow.  to let the mind wander and unleash the creativity that resides there.

oh when will that time come again?

working my way back

i’m working my way back to you; to my blog that is. this could easily be my third post here on a space for words about losing focus, but it won’t be this time! my emphasis of late has been to work hard on getting back into the writing groove.

to this end, i’ve spooled up more tunes, some old, some new, that help me disengage from the goings-on around me and help to induce that inner contemplation that helps me start thinking and dreaming.

the dreaming is the important part. i remember as a teen back in the early 1980s driving around, listening to some of these tunes, with the windows down the breeze blowing my hair and the world before me.

i had the good fortune to grow up out in the country – western wisconsin to be specific. these good times defined who i was ultimately to become, and more importantly shaping the very foundations of my beliefs.

one of those beliefs is in hard work. i believe it’s time for some of that hard work, getting back to where i want to be.

a loss of focus

it happens to the best of us. it’s not about getting too busy with things, though that too contributes to it, but many other factors. i’m finding that i have less to say about things than i did a year ago. part of me wonders if this is because of not wanting to get into debates with folks.

i say i write about social media, the enterprise, and other such topics, but since i set my blog up to be focused on these things, (it’s not this one) i find that i really don’t have much to talk about on it at this time. i built up a reader base that was about to hit the 400 mark, only to stop writing so often and i watch the readership dwindle down, day after day feeling like i change anything.

i know this to be false, all i have to do is get back to writing the useful content that brought folks to my blog before. my problem is inspiration – i just feel that there isn’t any in me right now, or that there isn’t the interest out there to read what i feel i should be talking about. it is a difficult position for me to be in, and i do need to decide whether i continue blogging at all or not – it’s that frustrating to me personally.

deep down, i’m sure i’ll continue, but wonder if i should post about taking a break or just post infrequently on marginally-related topics when i feel like it. hard to decide.

losing focus

i’ve done it again. i’ve lost focus on my goals and my agenda. i’ve not posted about this on my real blog, but feel that i need to very soon.

it started over a year ago when i had money issues when starting a business. since then, things have gotten better on the income side of things, but i had to “shelve” the idea of working for myself as a professional blogger. i here some of you laughing, and sure, it’s a difficult if not improbable goal for the most part.

but to me it seems that i have much to say, many opinions to help people, and really want to succeed as a teacher and communicator rather than an information technology professional. i have a good career in technology, but wish to do more things on my own.

i’ve lost the focus that i started with a couple years ago with my blog. the desire is there, the ideas continue to stream, but the time and ability to gain traction in simply doing is missing. there are many other things going on as well, with conferences and events that i’m part of and working on making happen. people are counting on me to come through and perform in these areas. that alone is stressfull to me as well.

so, here i go, to sort through the last year and find the time, the ability to focus on what needs to be done. here is where i restart my agenda, my initiatives and regain the momentum i feel i’ve lost. now is the time, today is the day i start my plans anew.

nothing to say

nothing to say and no way around it.
i’m so drained creatively.
i cannot compete at the same level today.
my eye is not on the ball.
my abilities have not changed.
my goals have not changed.
my desires have not changed.
my routine has changed.
but that is not an excuse.
i have let my environment impact my goals.
i have allowed myself to be distracted.
i am not applying myself 100% to my agenda.
i have taken the easy path (again) and I hate it.
i want to succeed in my goals.
i want to succeed in my writing.
i will work to change this today.
i will work to change this tomorrow.
i will work to change this over the weekend.

more ponderings

ponderings from the ponderosa… ok i’ll stop.

the thoughts keep flowing, but i don’t have the time to write them down. i’ve gone from completely dead on the work front for a week (which was nice time off) to full steam 16hr days. at least 2 in a row that is. i just launched a new theme on my blog and i have not had time to write posts for it. i’m behind and i’m feeling bad again.

so it’s back to the word processor to try and get at least a post for tomorrow nailed together. wish me luck.